Headliners

“Microsoft Dings Stocks”
Ballmer’s insurance expired, has to get cash for repairs from Bill.
“YMCA office under attack by Muslims in West Bank”
No word on the status of the construction worker or the biker.
“Chad Pressured to Postpone Election”
Meanwhile, Jacob and Britney can hold elections as planned.
“AT&T Shareholders Reject Resolutions”
AT&T shareholders are idiots.
“Government Takes Over Aloha Air Pension”
Aloha Air pensioners see money flushed down toilet. U.S. taxpayers now responsible for the bailout, likewise.